Feral Breastfeeding Babies


Today I cover a topic that makes some people squirm: Breastfeeding. Yes, the completely natural, efficient and common sense way to feed a baby. I have chosen to breast feed my daughter. At least for the first few months. She is a preemie and she needs all the benefits I can give her. In addition, if you have been reading my post, I’m cheap. There is no cheaper food for baby.

I was expecting some challenges. If you go read about breastfeeding online or in books or talk to medical professionals you hear mostly horror stories about how hard it is. Go look. Nothing but horror stories. Needless to say, I was prepared for a disaster. It didn’t happen.

Don’t get me wrong, we had our challenges. They arose mostly from me being in one hospital and V being in another and both of us being on a different set of schedules. Once I got out of the hospital, our challenges were the schedule of the NICU which wasn’t terribly conducive to developing a rhythm with the baby that would keep your milk supply steady.

After we got home on our own, we were off to the races. I take no credit. My little 35 week preemie knew just what to do.

That being said, what no one told me about or wrote about online or in books was what I call the feral baby phenomenon. This phenomenon, which I was wholly unprepared for, is when my sweet precious perfect child turns into a ravenous piranha when she gets within a foot of my breast. Her face changes. Her eyes get wild. She starts grunting. She gnashes her gums. She occasionally tries to chew off her own hands in anticipation. She tosses her head wildly. Then she attacks. Yes, attacks like something out of Wild Kingdom. She is a predator pouncing on her prey. After a few seconds of eating like she has never been fed before she will relax and once again turn into my sweet precious perfect daughter. But until then, she really is a primal little feral baby. Just for the record, she currently eats every hour on the hour. I’m not starving the baby.

Frankly, I’m just glad she doesn’t have teeth or claws yet. If she had motor control and the ability to walk, we could just pour breast milk on the bad people in the world and turn her and her little feral baby counterparts loose. The babies would make short work of bad people.

My husband didn’t believe me until I made him watch. He took a picture. Compare my Baby Jekyl

Look. Sweet and innocent.

Look. Sweet and innocent.

Gnawing her hands in anticipation.

Gnawing her hands in anticipation.

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