NICU Day 10: Absurd Ramblings


It has now been 10 days since Ms. V entered the world. She has been in the NICU for those 10 days and had a pacemaker installed. She has been a busy girl. She is getting better every day. Mom and Dad have been there as much as they will let us. Sitting in an NICU room gives you some time to think, observe, and gain perspective. Here are a few things that have crossed my mind recently.

There is nothing more terrifying than a perfectly still, perfectly silent baby. Ventilators are scary.
There are a lot of emotionally painful things in this world and I have experienced a few of them. I thought I was decently grizzled. Now that I am a Mom and I see that beautiful little girl and have to watch her fight for her health, I know that anyone who has lost a child has me beat hands down. I’m a complete panty waist.
Watching and talking to the other parents here in the NICU, we are truly blessed. Pray for these parents and babies. Their children are very very sick and probably will be for some time.

At 10 days my daughter is already tougher than I am.

I love the new side I am seeing of my husband. I knew he was going to be a great Dad… but damn.

Little baby yawns are the most precious things ever.

The surest way to get a baby to close her beautiful eyes is to try to take a picture of her.

I had no idea that baby car seats had a minimum weight. You don’t find this stuff out until you have a child that is below the minimum weight (5 lbs) on the seat that you bought.

My daughter has more living great grandparents than grandparents. Kinda sad. Kinda strange.

Man can not live on McDonalds, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut alone. It starts making hospital food look scrumptious after a few days.

C-sections aren’t so bad. At least not for me. My foot surgery was 10 times worse.

There are no overweight nurses in the NICU.

I have not observed a bad nurse in the NICU.

I wouldn’t want to be an NICU nurse. It is a tough job.

Even though I thought I was a clean freak before I had the baby, I am really a filthy animal. I need to step up the housekeeping before the baby comes home.

I am lucky to have incredible friends and family. Especially the one that walked and fed my dogs for days without being asked. The one that gave us the beautiful princess themed bassinet. The one that brought the yummy enchiladas. The one that brought the peanut butter fudge. The one that went on a great adventure wearing an Indiana Jones hat to visit us. The one that…. There are just too many to list.

I have yet to encounter anything that makes me feel less attractive than pumping for breast milk. I feel like an old, flabby, lactating Fembot. Or Madonna’s sister that nobody talks about that got dropped on her head as a child and locked in the basement with a case of Baby Ruths.

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia make me feel a lot better about myself. I used to think V was sort of unlucky landing with me as a Mom seeing as I don’t know a thing about raising a baby. But since I didn’t snort any cocaine in the hospital room with her in the bassinet next to me…I’m thinking that maybe she caught a break after all.

I know you are going hard hard hard hard hard hard just like you’re a superstar star star star star star. I mean you are who you are. But is it really possible or even appropriate to look all sick and sexified with Jesus on your neckalusesessesss?

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