I am a PC

I’m a PC.

I have to work on a Mac for my job. I had no choice in the matter. I went to work for a company that drank the apple flavored Kool-Aid long ago. I was excited at first. I had heard nothing but good things about Macs.

I had worked on Macs in college. As I was only dinking around in Photoshop and using notepad to edit web pages at the time, they seemed AOK.

I went for years in between using Windows and cursing it every step of the way. I even “upgraded” from Vista back to XP because that operating system was such a brick. Little did I know how good I had it.

Today, unlike in college, I really need to USE the Mac. Run more than one program. Check email, meet deadlines even. And after two solid months of holding my nose and trying to drink the apple flavored Kool-aid I have to say the thing is a shiny silver piece of shit. It is not user friendly. Sure, the graphics are slick. The interface is more polished but the actual functionality slows me down. I don’t need it to anticipate what it thinks I want to do. I need it to actually do what I am telling it to do.

When it breaks I do not want to hear “Macs don’t break”. It shouldn’t take me a month to convince people that it is not working correctly. If it was made by a human it can break. Macs do break and your lack of interest in helping me fix it, Mr. holier-than-thou-Apple-Kool-Aid-drinking-help-desk guy, is only making me hate them more.

I shouldn’t need to install a program to help me search for things on the computer. I should be able to navigate easily and find them. When that is the first thing that is recommended for you to install there is a problem.

And if one more fucking icon in the dock bounces at me for ten minutes whilst I dig desperately for the little notification box that is buried behind ten other windows instead of appearing at the top of the stack or at least in the same layer as the program’s other windows I swear I will hurt someone.

There is no quick glance way of knowing all the windows you have open.

No. You have to hit a button to do something that with Windows takes no action on your part at all. Did you know you can’t even print screen with the click of a button on a Mac? Nope it is the click of three buttons, or the click of three buttons an additional click, then a drag and click. Isn’t that handy? Yes, yes, Mac is so much easier than Windows. I was such an idiot for not seeing it before.

And the Mighty Mouse is a Mighty turd. I have actually resorted to taking my Microsoft mouse to work so that I can use a mouse on my computer when I choose instead of when it chooses and some days where it chooses to click.

The only thing I have seen so far that I like on Mac is the installation of programs.

The hardware seems fine. I wouldn’t be opposed to Mac hardware running a Microsoft or Linux operating system.

Let me just say for Mac and the Ipod developers: A lack of documentation for the user on your part does not an intuitive interface make. It means you failed to provide documentation. Get off your high horse and give me something that is actually intuitive or give me some documentation. Command shift 3 is not intuitive. Neither is Command shift 4 then space bar.

I never ever thought I would see the day when I would make a resounding endorsement for Microsoft but here I am doing it. I am a PC. My computer of choice isn’t pretty and silver. The interface isn’t perfectly shiny and polished. But it does the job. My computer of choice doesn’t have 50 different secret handshake key sequences for basic functions, it has a quick click of the mouse or a display that is already there. Yes, my computer of choice occasionally has a brain fart and has to be reset. But I am OK with that, because when it is working it is kind to me and makes it easy for me to do what I want to do in a way I want to do it.

I am a PC. And I am proud.

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